Searching For A Church

I moved out on my own almost a month ago, and three Sunday's have gone by and I've sat on my couch in my PJs and watched cartoons instead of getting dolled up and heading out to a morning Church service. My parents have asked me a few times have I found a church and I replied to them that I was waiting to get settled into living on my own before I go out there and find a church family, which is true. So this morning I woke up super early and as I was flipping through the channels trying to find a marathon of Avatar, I came across a local church service airing on TV. I sat and watched. And then I turned on my computer and started researching the church. I even went as far to email the pastor and ask him some very poignant questions. 

Is it wrong and lazy of me to not be out there visiting these churches in person, but rather taking a more reserved approach and researching them on the Internet and emailing the pastors and asking them about the messages they teach, doctrines and their beliefs, as well as the racial and age percentage breakdowns of their congregations. I mean, I'm the type of person who doesn't like to waste my precious time and precious gas, going to different churches that don't fulfill my criteria.

Having been raised as a pastors child I know the Truth about God's Word, and I can't just go plop my rump down in any pew and listen to just anybody with a ministry ordainment preach what they believe to be the "Truth". I want to be in a God-centered, supportive family environment that doesn't sugar coat heaven and hell, and repenting for sins, and consequences of not living a Godly lifestyle. I want to be somewhere that we uplift me spiritually while also challenging me in my Walk with Christ. I want to be somewhere that simply is honest and teaches the Truth. While also not being full of only one race, and having a lot of old people. Tough criteria I know. But I want a church that has people that look like me, and different from me, and are near to me in age, while also older and younger than me. This world isn't comprised on only old people, or only black people, or only married people. It is a diverse world, and I want to become a member in a diverse church family. 

What are your thoughts? It's a lot to request, but I will not give in. I will be successful in my endeavors to find a new church to call home. 

The Unspoken Rule

I was having dinner last night with two of my sorors and we got onto the subject of the single life and dating. One was telling me some personal information about a recent turn of events in her life and it caused me to ask her this question, "Why is it that we, as females, have to follow that unspoken rule that guys that our friends have dated/talked to/messed around with in the past are unavailable and off limits to anyone in our circle of friends even, though that person is done with them?" Then one of my sorors brought up a valid point. What if that person was meant to enter our lives through you. Just because you two didn't work out, doesn't mean that this guy isn't the right one for me. Because if you think about it, sometimes, we would've never met some of the people we associate with if it hadn't been through a mutual friend. So my soror and I sat and debated this question: "Should I really follow that rule and leave him alone just because you're my friend and you had him first out of "respect"? Or do I go for it, and see where the relationship could potentially go and risk having you be mad at me and ruining our friendship?"

How complicating being a woman is. I want to task ladies with this. Don't fight over guys. DON'T, DON'T, DON'T!! If your friend wants to date your ex, or simply get to know him, and has been totally up front about it and has nothing to hide and is not trying to get back at you in any capacity, then let her. And in the event that their relationship doesn't work out, don't be catty and say "I told you so". Just say, well we all make mistakes. You were my friend first and we will continue being friends because I trust and love you, and move on.

Just food for thought. 

Moving On Up

It's been forever since I've written and its all due to the fact that life has been superbly busy for me this last month.

For starters...I've got a job; I'll be teaching 2nd grade at a wonderful school in Shelby. They hired me after my preliminary interview. And I know it was God looking out for me when the principal called and woke up up at 7:27am the day after my interview telling me how impressed she was with me, because originally she told me that the openings were in K and either 3rd/4th grade. So I accept the job and she surprises me and says I'll be in 2nd grade my favorite grade. My school also has some nice perks...SMARTboard, my own personal laptop, and ELMO, a HUGE classroom, and an online office supply thingy so I don't have to come out of pocket for expenses. Add that on to the fact that the teacher who I'm replacing left all her posters and bulletin board sets for me to use so I really don't have to buy ANYTHING. This is another reminder of what listening to God will do for your life. I prayed to him and trusted him that he would help me get the perfect job in the perfect grade and all of that has come to fruition.

I got a surprise today as well from dear old mom and dad. We went back to Gastonia to check out two more apartment complexes. Last time we went down there was about 3 weeks ago and I was deciding between two really nice properties. Well after careful consideration I knew which one I wanted but knew I couldn't move until September after I get my first TEACHER paycheck (:D), but dad out of the blue says he wants to go look at the property I had decided on moving to again. We do so, the property manager tells me that they only have a few units left, and the next thing I know, I'm filling out an application and dad is paying for my app fee and my security deposit. So now my apartment is officially mine and it wont get sold before I can move in. I'm in shock. Everything in my life is falling together right now and I feel so blessed. 

But aside from all of this serious stuff going on in my life, I spent a wonderful week in New Jersey and Maryland visiting two of my really good friends. My bff in NJ moved away when we were in 10th grade and were had met in 6th grade and were practically joined at the him. My homie in MD is my bestie guy friend who I met at camp. Both of them have been wanting to see me and I spent 4 days with both of them. I did a crazy thing and rented a car to drive 10hrs from NC to NJ, 6hrs from NJ to MD, and then 7 hrs from MD to home again. It was wild and absolutely crazy but I feel accomplished. It feels good navigating the road and being alone and in charge of my life. Road tripping is FUN! 

1st Job Interview

So, it finally happened. After all the resumes I've been sending out among like 6 different school systems I FINALLY got a call do to an interview at a school in Shelby. I was super stoked but just a smidge nervous. But after lots of prayer, preparation and getting some advice from a bestie I headed down there ready to wow them. And I must say that I did. I walked out of there with such huge confidence that I beasted that interview and they loved me!! Now it's all just a waiting game to see if I get a call back for a follow up interview. The school secretary was so kind as to let me know that they had interview over 40 people for the 1 5th grade position. That's crazy! So with me being interviewer number 46 I just hope that they hadn't found what they were looking for yet with candidates 1-45 and hopefully they see what they want in a teacher out of me.

But while I'm waiting I'm still going to be applying for jobs elsewhere. Catawba County finally posted its openings, to which there's only 3, 2 4th grades and a 1 5th, so I'm hoping God blesses me and I find some favor and can snag a job before the 2nd week in July. That is my prayer. That way I can start preparing for what I'll need.

Yoga

Fitness update!

I've discovered that I have Fit TV. I found this program called Namaste Yoga and every time it comes on I work out alongside the girls on TV or I DVR it so I can do it when I'm off work. I can feel it working my muscles. I looked in the mirror today and saw that my upper abs were beginning to show through underneath my stomach fat lol. And that was without me flexing anything. I felt pretty accomplished.

I also did this amazing cardio workout on Fit TV. Inspired by Bollywood Dance. Man, let me tell you was I ever sweating. But it felt so good to get my heart rate up. My goal is to workout everyday along to a program on Fit TV, whether its cardio, yoga or pilates. I can keep up with the TV for 30 minutes. Especially now that I'm starting to see results.

I put on a pair of jeans the other day and I didn't have to jump into them. They slid up a little easier. I haven't weighed myself officially, but I count that as progress.

There's also this gym downtown that I took a tour of. Has a yoga class on Mondays and a Zumba class on Saturdays that I'm interested in. It's a pretty cheap monthly membership of $39. Now I just have to gather the courage of going to a gym at regular intervals and working out by myself. 

My fitness goal for August, the start of a new school year where I will Lord willing be living and teaching in Winston-Salem, to have dropped a pants size. My pants size isn't that high as it is, but I want my toned, flexible body back. Not to mention I want to speed up my metabolism. For someone who loves to eat as much as I do. Physical exercise needs to be a regular component in my life.

Power Outage

I haven't written in a while and I was reminded of that today when I got a phone call from one of my good friends who said she enjoyed reading this. It helped her keep up with the news in my life since we were so far apart. That gives me new resolve to write.

So I was inspired today for a new piece of fiction. The power went out today because of a thunderstorm. It happens pretty frequently and generally comes back on again within a half hour. Today's outage time was about 2 hours. But what surprised me is that almost all of Newton's power was out. No grocery store, not CVS, no stoplights, no AC in the house. The power was out. But what surprised me during all of this was having to drive through a major 4 way intersection and people actually stopped, even though they might have had the right of way to let a few cars pass so that people who are not aggressive drivers could get to their destination. I was amazed. There still are kind people in this world.

Having the power out took me back to memories of summer camp last year. It was hot. There were no lights, no fans blowing and no AC. There were no sounds of TV commercials or gunshots on video games. It was quiet. Rather serene. It made me stop and think about live back in "olden" times when there was no electricity and plumbing. They survived it everyday while after 5 minutes of no AC and fan, I was complaining. It gave me inspiration to write a story about a the world 100s of years from now suffering from a statewide power outage. Who would survive and who wouldn't? What dirty traits would being without the usual comforts of life bring out of people. It's an interesting thought and we'll see how it goes. I'll have to log it into my idea book.

Throb, throb, throb

So I've been subbing for the last 5 days straight and I still have another 8 to go till the school year is over, plus I'm working part time at HDD in the evenings 3-4 nights a week. My schedule is super jam packed and I think my body is getting a little exhausted. Who would've thought that I would get so unaccustomed to going to waking up early and going to teach every morning since I ended my student teaching about a month ago. I've had a pesky lil cough that's trying to take root in my body and an intense headache for a solid two days! Oh I'm miserable. What's worse than being sick, is being sick and having to teach. I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep. Too bad sleep doesn't even come easily for me these days. I lay in bed tossing and turning for an hour and then I sleep so light it's like I'm in a state of semi-consciousness. And I'm so tired that when I do have a moment of down time I just plop down on the couch or in front of my computer when I need to be on the Wii working out or taking a walk through the neighborhood. I'm so slack these days and it's ridiculous. Can it be June 11th yet? Then summer vacation really begins...

Love Can Fix Anything

That's what Antonio Banderas said on Oprah the other day about his wife and her drug addiction. But my question for him is, if love can fix anything...why does it have to break and ruin everything in the process? I'm questioning this because I've recently just blew the lid off of another gasket of post Jasmine&Anthony break-up.

I went to Lee and Brandon's wedding Saturday and couldn't help but feeling a bit of sadness knowing that my own dream wedding is far off in the future since I'm single again. And then I also realized that Anthony is a huge jerk and I'm so mad at MYSELF because I put up with his sh#@ for at least a year and tried to ignore all the little naggings in my heart and mind that said "something is fishy here" and "you need to check him because he didn't use to be like this". But no, me being the every faithful and trusting romantic said "stick out out and things will change". Well things did change, and his ass dumped me. So I'm mad at MYSELF, once again, that I'm sitting here stewing over a guy who broke up with me a month ago and wondering why I still think about him and want to hang out with him. Today is his freaking birthday and I know he's out partying with his friends and I'm sad because I think about all the plans we made to have fun the summer and now I'm kicked out of everything.

While at the wedding I texted Anthony, who didn't show up (can't say I wasn't surprised), and told him that just because we broke up didn't mean we stop being friends. Was that wrong of me? Is it too soon for those kinds of messages? I mean, he was after all my best friend for damn near 4 years. Do I have to lose that too just because he's not my boyfriend. Needless to say, I took about 3 steps forward in this "healing my heart" process as my mom calls it, but now I feel like I've taken 8 steps back. No gain at all.

In Other News....

I've been working out on my Wii on a consistent basis. I haven't got back into the jump rope thing yet and I'm trying to motivate myself to get out into the neighborhood and start walking. I've been eating a little better, and I've almost 100% kicked soda out of my diet (I tend to splurge at work since it's the only thing to drink). I know caffeine is bad but I've been on a sweet tea and green tea fix lately. I hope it helps me out. My goal is to lose 10 pounds by August. And even if I don't lose all the weight, I want to tone up my muscles a lot. I went out and spent $100 on some Reebok Easy Tones so I can walk around them and wear them to work. I'm feeling good about my progress. I've found that Yoga is my avenue and I'm loving it. I can feel my muscles working in ways they haven't in a while.

That dreaded "D" word...... diet

So I was watching Oprah the other day and she had special guest Geneen Roth on there talking about her new book which explains why we are overweight. Her main reason being that we subconsciously use food to block out our emotions because we don't want to deal with what we have going on in life. Well, I disagree. That's not my problem. There's no stress in my life, therefore I have nothing to block out. But one things she did say was true. We eat when we're bored or want to be social but can't. I recognize that in my own life. I'm not eating because I'm hungry, I'm eating because I'm bored and lonely. Go figure.

So I had a goal to lose 7 pounds by graduation, which was May 8. I started that goal about a month prior. I went out and bought a Wii Fit Plus and was gung ho about it. My May 8th result. I more or less weigh the same. I stopped working out at the end of april when crisis hit my love life. But that shouldn't be an excuse right? Right.

So, I've followed a friend of mine's blog and her goal for this summer is to lose weight. I feel motivated to truly start mine too. If my mom can find time to walk 3 miles every other day, then by golly I can get up on the Wii Fit and work out for 30 minutes. Besides, I'm tired of my "fat baby" as I call it, getting more and more comfortable, I'm ready to have my abs back. I'm ready to have my toned thighs and butt again. I'm ready to have my freshman year college body back.

So, from this day forward, I will control my portions, I will not eat when I'm hungry or lonely, I will exercise and stop being so lazy, and I will, by the end of the dang summer, have a rockin body that I'm comfortable in. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and saying, "I don't like...." or "I wish my _____ looked better....." It's time to turn those wishes into reality.

Who's with me?

Attack of the Snots!

They say your body changes every 7 years, well I think my time has come and I've developed horrendous allergies. It sucks! One day I was fine and a few days later I'm dealing with a scratchy throat and a runny nose. I subbed today and used all the tissues on the teacher's desk. I felt so bad! That was the only box of tissue in the room. I left her a nice note though. I hate blowing my nose so much, it always gets tender and raw. But I suppose blowing out the snot is better than swallowing it because then I'd develop a cough and a hoarse throat.

In other news.....I'M A COLLEGE GRADUATE. Whoo hoo! I can officially say that I have a degree. BSED in education, cum laude. Feels pretty good to be out of college. Now I'm standing at a fork in the road. Now what? What do I do with my life now?