Love Can Fix Anything

That's what Antonio Banderas said on Oprah the other day about his wife and her drug addiction. But my question for him is, if love can fix anything...why does it have to break and ruin everything in the process? I'm questioning this because I've recently just blew the lid off of another gasket of post Jasmine&Anthony break-up.

I went to Lee and Brandon's wedding Saturday and couldn't help but feeling a bit of sadness knowing that my own dream wedding is far off in the future since I'm single again. And then I also realized that Anthony is a huge jerk and I'm so mad at MYSELF because I put up with his sh#@ for at least a year and tried to ignore all the little naggings in my heart and mind that said "something is fishy here" and "you need to check him because he didn't use to be like this". But no, me being the every faithful and trusting romantic said "stick out out and things will change". Well things did change, and his ass dumped me. So I'm mad at MYSELF, once again, that I'm sitting here stewing over a guy who broke up with me a month ago and wondering why I still think about him and want to hang out with him. Today is his freaking birthday and I know he's out partying with his friends and I'm sad because I think about all the plans we made to have fun the summer and now I'm kicked out of everything.

While at the wedding I texted Anthony, who didn't show up (can't say I wasn't surprised), and told him that just because we broke up didn't mean we stop being friends. Was that wrong of me? Is it too soon for those kinds of messages? I mean, he was after all my best friend for damn near 4 years. Do I have to lose that too just because he's not my boyfriend. Needless to say, I took about 3 steps forward in this "healing my heart" process as my mom calls it, but now I feel like I've taken 8 steps back. No gain at all.

In Other News....

I've been working out on my Wii on a consistent basis. I haven't got back into the jump rope thing yet and I'm trying to motivate myself to get out into the neighborhood and start walking. I've been eating a little better, and I've almost 100% kicked soda out of my diet (I tend to splurge at work since it's the only thing to drink). I know caffeine is bad but I've been on a sweet tea and green tea fix lately. I hope it helps me out. My goal is to lose 10 pounds by August. And even if I don't lose all the weight, I want to tone up my muscles a lot. I went out and spent $100 on some Reebok Easy Tones so I can walk around them and wear them to work. I'm feeling good about my progress. I've found that Yoga is my avenue and I'm loving it. I can feel my muscles working in ways they haven't in a while.