Ohh Jasmine 04.22.13

This entry is pointless.

I changed my blog name and URL from "An Unconventional Princess" to "Ohh Jasmine". It seemed fitting for a completely random reason. My friend Elizabeth V. at work is always saying that to me as well as my roommates whenever I do something particularly amusing or off the wall so I thought it was apropos in regards to who I am.

I don't really have much to say. I'm sort of at a block with my writing. I've recently joined a leadership eGroup at church and I'm supposed to be writing a 3-4 page letter to myself that I'll open in a year. It's our homework assignment and it's due on Wednesday. I haven't started on the thing. I haven't even taken the special wrapping out of its plastic. I'm procrastinating. A part of me is trying to wait and think of something creative, witty, and insightful to tell my future self about my present (well would be past) self, but I'm coming up short. Then another part of me wants to type up the letter an just staple it to the pages. I feel like being a smidgen rebellious. Idk. The thing will get written. Just in about 2 more days, an hour before it's due.

I'm also supposed to be working on my short story that's due for the April writing contest in my fictionpress forum Labyrinth  Well, it's not my forum, I'm just a member. The thing is I had the perfect introduction mapped out in my head 2 weeks ago when I was taking a shower. Only, I was in the shower. And by the time I got back to my room I couldn't remember what I had said nor did I try to flesh it out and sit down and type it out. Needless to say I lost all that clever wording. I'm starting to think I need to be one of those writers who carries around a tape recorder. It'll keep me from losing my work. The 2,000 word short is due April 25th. I've got until 11:50 to send it to Fyloe Fox.

I entered the March competition (my first time doing so) and tied for 2nd place with 2 votes. I consider that huge. I was expecting the winner okunoin to take all the votes with his weirdly unnerving yet beautiful story. He took over half of the reported 11 votes, but I was still surprised I got any. It just shows me that people do appreciate my work.

Oh well. Just like with my letter to myself, It'll get done. Just probably on Thursday afternoon. I wrote the March entry the day it was due. I can make it happen.

I work well under pressure.

Hillsong "Oceans"

This song is speaking to me like nothing else. Heard it for the first time about 3 weeks ago in church. Have had it on repeat all afternoon.

My Teacher Has Hips

...but oh wait! I'm the teacher. That's what was inferred about me. I have hips. 

Here's what went down. 


So I'm walking through the middle of my class at the end of 3rd block and one of my boys gets a weird look on his face as he looks at me. I meet his glance with a frown. He then proceeds to say, "Don't take this the wrong way Miss Davis, but I just noticed that your hips are bigger than your legs." Then he continued to make an "eeww" face. After a split second of thinking did he really just say that to me, I told him, "Well, yes. This is normal. You say eeww now, but when you're 16 you'll have a different opinion." At which point the girl sitting beside him said, "Yeah, Miss Davis is right. Girls are supposed to look like this." And then she proceeded to put her hands in the air and air draw the standard hourglass body shape of a woman complete with wide hips. 

There -- in my third block -- at 1:30 on a Tuesday afternoon -- is proof that kids do, in fact, say the darnedest things. 

Go ahead, laugh.

Getting Plugged In

Well I did it, I took the next step at church. One of Elevation's philosophies on getting "plugged in" is called the 4 Gs: giving, gifts, growth, and groups. Well I've been giving my tithe. I've grown the church by inviting people with me. Now I'm ready for the gifts aspect. I signed up for the M1 mentoring initiative and I signed up to be a volunteer in the eKidz department at Elevation Church - Gaston.

Ever since I started going there back in June 2012 I felt that I had not only found a church that I could call home, but I found a place where I felt God was leading me to serve. I've been having this feeling for months that I need to get involved, start working with the kids, do something else with my life besides just working, eating, and sleeping. Now I'm doing it.

I know this move is a step ordained by God because of how easily it happened. This summer I happened to attend Elevation Uptown on one of the first weeks they talked about starting up the M1 initiative  Well, once the school year started I just never took the next step to go to a training or see if I could get hooked up with a student. Well today at the Gaston campus they brought it back up, saying the need was still there since they'd only gotten about 800 of the desired 1,000 mentors. I figured now that I'm attending Gaston regularly it was a good fit. Plus, Katie was there with me and as soon as she heard the call for mentors she looked at me and said, "Hey, we should do this. Do you want to?" I knew that was God speaking to me through her. And ya know what, since we were there, I went ahead and signed up to be a volunteer in the eKidz department so I can start working in the nursery again. I've been saying I wanted to be a nursery worker for months and I've just been putting it off saying I wanted to start tithing again and I wanted to make sure my school schedule was more stable before I got plugged in. Well, life is good, it's time to make it great. I'm getting plugged in!

Pastor Steven Furtick is in week 2 of his The New Rules of Resolution sermon series, and today's message was about receiving and achieving. He said that as Christians we need to adopt the lifestyle of "regifting". Yes, regifting. :-)  God has given us gifts. It is our job to then go out and give those gives to others. He blesses us so we should in turn bless others. He gives us grace so we should in turn give grace to others. God served us and gave his life and time for us, now it's my turn to use that gift and start giving back.

I feel really good about this! Boot camp for the eKidz department is next Sunday so we'll see how it goes. I can't wait to see where God takes me with this!

Tithing

People don't like to sit in church and listen to a 45 minute spiel about giving their money to God. They just don't. It gets uncomfortable and I'm guessing for many, hearing a preacher tell them to "give their 10% back to God" has them feeling so uneasy that they walk right out the church doors and don't go back.

I've been attending Elevation Church since the summer and currently Pastor Steven Furtick's in in a sermon series called Banner Years in which we're learning how to make every year great in our lives, thusly making it a banner year. A few weekends ago he had Pastor Robert s Morris (I think, my notes are not within reach at the moment) in from Gateway Church in TX and he gave a 2 week sermon about tithing. And I must say, it got to me.

Yeah, I'll admit it, sitting there listening to this man talk about giving money had me having those uncomfortable feelings, but it wasn't because I don't want to give God my money, but because earlier in my life I had been doing it for a long while, weekly, regularly. But once I moved out on my own and (cough-cough stopped going to church for a year) I started having to support myself financially, budgeting out 10% of my money to give back to church was a struggle for me. I mean I was barely having enough money leftover to put gas in my car to get to work and buy groceries to stock my cupboards with.

However, sitting in church hearing Pastor Robert and Pastor Steven talk about tithing really hit home to me. One of them made a comment about how when you stop tithing and giving God what is rightfully his, a curse gets put on your money. Now I've heard this for years growing up from old pastors and my parents. So it wasn't like it was old news. But sitting there, in that particular moment, it was like DING! the light bulb went off. Pastor made a remark about when you stop tithing, your money gets cursed and then the money you do have seems to run out faster and you struggle to make ends meet; things break down and you're always shelling out money for something or another.

Well, I sat there and did a mental check list. Since I've moved out on my own almost three years ago, I'd wrecked my car, twice, I'd gotten a speeding ticket, my computer started falling apart, I had high bills, I didn't have any extra income to save, a night out on the town consisted of me heading to Wendy's to order off the value menu on Friday nights, and I was struggling to make ends meet, like really struggling. Like I would do good to have $40 left in my checking at the end of the month before payday. So when he said that and I realized all the money I essentially lost over the last two years I tried to think about what could be a reason behind it. Well, it was simple. I stopped going to church which translated to I stopped tithing regularly.

Back in high school when I was working part time I got paid every Friday. So that meant every Sunday I was filling out my offering receipt and putting it in the church offering. I wasn't making much back then, maybe $200 a week, but man did that $200 go far. I always had money, my gas rationing was good. I didn't wreck my car (to where it was my fault; I'd been hit a few times); I never wanted for anything; my belongings lasted and didn't break. Life was good! Then all of a sudden, life wasn't so good.

Was it because I stopped tithing or was it just life circumstance. You can take your pick. But I know for me personally, sitting in church I knew I had to get back on it. It'll be hard for me to crank the top 10% off my gross salary and put it in the offering because bills are still so high, but I'm working to start with at least 2-3% and increase it to the full 10% (and hopefully go beyond that to 15 and 20%) as I get accustomed to not missing that money. Sounds bad, I know. Why give at all if I'm not going to give the full 10% you might ask? My position is this, God knows my heart and he can see that I'm trying to live right and follow his commandments. I'd rather give 3% regularly to him rather than give 0% and have the rest of my money be cursed.

I'm sick of wrecking cars, I'm sick of high bills, I'm sick of never being able to do things because my budget won't allow it. I want the curse off my money and I want a better life. So here we go. Jasmine is tithing again.

I started this past Sunday 12/2/12, and ya know what, it felt great!

___________________________

PATS SELF ON THE BACK!
Memory served me well. It was Robert Morris at church the other week. And this quote was very memorable from his sermon:
Concerning your money -- "90% with God's blessing will go a lot further than 100% without it."

On Track to 25

I haven’t blogged much recently, a common trend I find myself falling into. But truthfully, I haven’t been explosively mad to the point where I need to vent through this avenue. My life is good right now, completely changing, and good.

I don’t know how old I was, perhaps still in college, when I made a personal goal for myself stating that “By the time I’m 25 years old, I’ll have my life together. I’ll be a full-fledged adult by then.” I’ve been saying that for years, because you know me, I always have something that I’m aspiring to, and personally I wanted my life to be in order. What does that mean you ask? Well it’s simple.

By the age of 25 I expect to:
- Be stable in my career
- Be stable financially
- Be closer with my family
- Be closer and more firm in my relationship with God
- Know who I am

If all of these things were in order, then I figured I’d be ready to take on the world. I’d be ready to have a serious relationship with a man and truly give him my best self. So let’s do a breakdown and check my progress.

Career
It’s my third year teaching. I’m still at the same school, but, I’m no longer a second grade teacher, nor am I the RTI Interventionist/Coordinator for our school. This year I’m back in the classroom teaching 5th grade English Language Arts. I love it! I couldn’t be happier. I’m teaching a subject that I love and can really delve into, and the 5th grade team is just awesome. I’m clicking with them in ways that I don’t think I clicked with my 2nd grade team. Nothing against my 2nd grade team because they are all wonderful ladies and we still have casual conversations when we see each other in the hallways at school, but I feel like I fit in with the 5th grade team. It’s just something internal. I have peace.

Financially 
Well, this stage of my life is sort of in limbo. At the end of the school year a group of teacher-friends and I decided to get a big house together so we could share bills and save money and not be so lonely living on our own anymore. It was a great plan and we found a great house and moved into it at the end of July. From living on my own to living with roommates, I should be saving about $200-$300 every month. That’s huge. Only, it’s been 3 months and I haven’t saved a thing. Why? Well, I wrecked Susan in the middle of July and had to by a new car, and between insurance screw-ups and waiting on payoff checks and breaking my apartment lease and owing them money, I haven’t been able to put that extra money in the bank. But it’s coming. October is going to be my month that all that gets situated and come November, that extra apartment rent money, insurance money, and surplus from not having to pay bills on my own is going straight to my savings account (well, after I buy a new cell phone. My blackberry is finally giving out).

Family
I love my family so much and I’ve been trying to physically and verbally show them how much I care about them as well. In July I went to Kentucky to see them and was there for two weeks. I also had two trips down south to Louisiana and Texas where I got to see my extended family. All good is on those fronts. I have a good relationship with all my brothers, my parents and my grandparents. I thank God everyday for blessing me with such a great family who loves and supports me.

Spiritually
This is perhaps the biggest change to happen in my life and recently. I will admit that I was very lax about finding a good church in Gastonia. Two years ago when I moved out on my own, I was gung-ho about hunting one down, but eventually that cooled off and I fell into the Sunday morning routine of washing my hair and cleaning out my DVR (if football wasn’t on.) To get a bit of the word I’d listen to Joel Osteen, but even that wasn’t feeding me enough. I used the excuse, and yes it was an excuse, that the reason I wasn’t finding a church was because every time I went to Kentucky and sat in my dad’s congregation and heard him speak the word, I knew I needed something similar to what he was offering, and in Gastonia I wasn’t finding it. Truth is, I just wasn’t looking hard enough.

Then this summer, after a girl’s weekend at Trish’s house, she says to us that we’re all going to church the next morning, even though we’ve been out late celebrating her birthday. I say OK and hop in the car and head to a 9:30 service at Elevation Church. Instantly I was hooked.

Pastor Steven is r-e-a-l. His words hit true to home and I learn something about myself or what I’m lacking in my walk with God every week. There are times when he’s preaching and I realize just how right on path I am. Being in church frequently has me desiring to get involved and give back. I’m thinking about mentoring, and volunteering and working in the eKidz department. I want to give back to the community and the world and really get plugged in. I love hearing his sermons. They are uplifting and at other times very eye-opening.
But what really pulled me in to Elevation was the worship. Since I’ve been involved in music since I was in 6th grade, I personally feel my connection to God and the Holy Spirit comes through worship. I can get more out of 20 minutes of singing and personal praying than I can get out of a 30-45 minute sermon.  The Worship Experience pulls me in, centers me, humbles me, and the direct communication link I have with God opens up wider, and I lift my hands (something I’ve rarely done in the past but now surrender completely to during my me-time-with-God), sing and pray, and feel totally at peace.

I have Trish to thank for all of this. Through her, I’ve found a church and I’m very passionate about attending that is feeding me spiritually. Those three weeks this summer I was off vacationing were hard because I was missing services and missing the worship and I longed for it. Truthfully, church services at Elevation have become the highlight of my weekend. :-)

I’m praying more, I’m trying to listen more, and the biggest thing off all is that I’m talking about God more. I’m sharing my viewpoints with my roommates, with my friends, with coworkers, and my family. There’s a spiritual fire burning inside of me and I love spreading it.

Jasmine 
Who am I? That’s a huge question for most people. Well, in two years of living off on my own, I think I know the answer. I love myself. I know my faults and I’m striving to be a better person. I know I’m not perfect by any means, but I’ve learned to take personal responsibility for myself and my actions, and you know, I have peace and stability at being exactly who I made created by God to be.

So what now… 
Well, since I can basically check off all these aspects of my life, what does that mean? Well, my mom always likes to ask me am I dating anyone or are there any potential flings. And for the majority of my two years away from her, that’s been a firm resounding no. I’ve had some dates, a few casual connections, but nothing substantial, no boyfriend, and I haven’t wanted one.  How could I date someone when I didn’t feel like I was my best self? My life was all out of balance. I was all out of balance, and after Anthony, I had to really hone in on exactly who I was, what I liked, what I needed, and what I wouldn’t accept from a man. Sure, mom might want more grandbabies besides Bentley and I’m the next logical choice in bearing a child since I’m the oldest, but I can’t rush something serious like bringing a person into my life if my life wasn’t together.
Last night I was talking to a friend of mine and I asked him what had he learned about me recently that he didn’t know before. Now, we’ve known each other for two years so to hear his answer to this was big for me. He said two things. “You’re more mature than I thought. You’re more mature spiritually than I thought too.”

I smiled instantly at the responses. For me, that’s great. He can see the change in me that I’ve been working for. He can see my growth as a person, my growth into an all-powerful-adult. Hearing that lets me know that I’m on track. I’m on track to being the best Jasmine that I can be at 25. I know I won’t be completely 100% perfect and satisfied, there will always be things that I need to work on with myself, but in my life’s journey, I know that I have to pause, reflect, and evaluate, and see if I’m making the right decisions and stepping onto the right paths that are going to benefit and fulfill me.

Well this was a very long post, and I’ve got an hour before I need to be heading out the door for church. So, until next time…

Live Drunk Tweeting

"I may or may not be tipsy right now...."

Those were the words I tweeted some time during the hours of 1AM and 2AM on July 6th, 2012. The tweet has since been deleted at my mother's behest. I've just returned home from vacationing in Texas/Louisiana for a week, and that particular Thursday night, my sister, Raynise, took me out for a night out in Dallas. We went to this fabulous place called Beauty Bar, a place deserving of it's own blog post -- and will get it shortly. Anyways, I had a few drinks before the crowd thickened too much, and by the time the place was packed and the DJ was playing a round of great music, I was -- how should I say this -- tipsy.

Now, the normal Jasmine usually keeps a tight lip on her emotions and the inner workings of her mind. But once alcohol gets involved, I'm not ashamed to say this, but I loosen up...a whole lot. Needless to say, I started tweeting what I was feeling and what I was seeing.

Well, I concluded my fabulous night, went home and slept for a few hours before we hit the road to stay in Louisiana for the weekend. Somewhere during the ride, I received two texts from my mother in relation to my tweet. I knew it wasn't a good idea to let her follow me on Twitter because she is a cyber-stalker! Words I'm not ashamed to type because I've physically told her to her face she stalks my Facebook. Next trip to KY, I intend to fix the alert system on her phone so she won't be glued in to my every status update or tweet. But alas, I digress...

Here's what the texts said. Verbatim.

"U really need to remove those tipsy comments. As an educator u r being watched thru all aspects of social media. Plz remember that. Don't u watch CNN or FOXNEWS

- teachers are always let go because they should exemplify good moral judgement always. We love you." 

My face when I read the text: -______- extremely long blank stare with a huge eye roll

My thoughts when I read the text: Are you kidding me right now? Not again! 

My actions when I read text: throws phone back in purse to deal with situation later

Eventually however, being the ever obedient child that I am, I deleted the tweet I posted per my mom's request. But a big part of me was really fired up when I had to do that and a lot of questions/angry thoughts started forming in my brain.

So, in regards to my mother's response texts, let me vent --

#1 - Why the hell is my mom stalking me over Facebook and Twitter and then sending me texts about what goes on in my personal life? Its enough that she reads my status updates, and tweets, and can view my pics. She's glued in to every aspect of my life now. But I swear, every time I post a status update that is slightly negative, or off the wall, I'm getting a text wanting more information about it. I know she's just trying to look out for me and stay in tune with my life being that we live 8hrs apart now, but damn. My Twitter is sacred. Leave it alone. You wanna be a Facebook Nazi, cool. I try to not be off the wall on there. My circle of friends extends far beyond the 20-somethings I hang around with or know through school. But Twitter is where I can really say what I want. So sit down and let me say what I want. I've been holding my tongue in regards to how I truly feel since I was damn 10 years old, and let me tell ya, that has not boded well. I've got a lot of shit built up. Besides, last time I checked I was an adult. You've got to ease back and let me make my own decisions however good and logical or stupid and illogical they might be.

--> I'm sure her counter argument would be the whole I'm your parent, and I will always be your parent and you will always be my child speech...  -___-

#2 - Duh, I knew that. I'm a teacher I'm not stupid. I know how tight-assed the system is. I know how teachers can get fired for the simplest and sometimes stupidest things. It's like educators are placed on a pedestal and we have to be as moral as Christ. We can't wear anything too hip or too flashy. We can't have crazy tattoos or piercings. We can't drink. We can't curse. We can't go out and have a good time. I think the majority of the world views teachers as these holy, all-knowing, all-patient nerds who teach kids for 8 hours and then spend the rest of their time grading papers and planning for the next 8 hours when we get the kids back. WRONG! I have a life. I do things that I consider fun and things that make me happy. I am a professional at work because it's just that, work. But when I go home, ESPECIALLY in the summer, that is MY TIME. I am off duty. Granted, I'm not the type to get all buck-wild and go clubbing every weekend and get shit-faced, but I do like to have a good time. I could understand society and my mother's POV if I was spending my time off as a stripper and soliciting sex on the street corners, but I'm not. I hardly think an "I'm tipsy" tweet is any cause to get concerned. I don't think me being tipsy and alerting it to my twitter followers is going to get me fired. Hell, I don't even drink that much. Only when I'm partying, which is an extreme rarity since I graduated. Plus I know a whole lot of teachers who go home and crack the wine bottles or the beer cans open a few times a week. That is not me. I know I have to be good online (even though I'm supposed to have freedom of speech) and good in public (because I'll never know who I might run into), but -- if you're going to judge me more harshly than any other person simply because I'm a teacher and I have this clean image I have to maintain, judge me when I do something extremely serious and degrading, not because I, as a 24 year old, went out to a bar, had 3 drinks, got slightly intoxicated and then decided to tweet that I was intoxicated. I wasn't endangering any students. I wasn't endangering any person around me. I wasn't even endangering myself. So society, mom, I say this to you: chill.

--> counter argument: It's true, you have your life, but you are a teacher, that is a fact. You always have to be on your best behavior both through your actions and your words, no matter how you feel. Your life's liberties mean nothing. You have an image to maintain...   -___-

Deep sigh.... I feel so much better now getting those words out of my head. I'm heading to Kentucky this weekend. On my agenda is a sit down with my mother about personal boundaries. We've had one of these talks before after I graduated. Now it's time to have one again. The 24 year old Jasmine has come a long way since the fresh college graduate Jasmine. It's time for her to release more of the leash she has on me. Let me be an adult. I know she's my mom and she can pull rank over me and try to lead me on a path that will prevent me from self-destructing. But this is my life, and a part of me growing up and being independent is self-destructing. Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing before you can learn the lesson between right and wrong and truly appreciate it. I feel that my parents might have sheltered me too much, which is partially good and partially bad. Overall, I'm a good kid. I mostly say the right things. I mostly do the right things. I don't think one measly tweet was something to get up in arms about. And if my employer sees it, or something like it, and decides that I'm not a good fit for the system anymore, then well, lesson learned. That's what life is about: living and learning. And that's exactly what I'm doing. Let me do it.

If technology were a physical being, we'd be fighting right now.

It's the weekend. Sacred time; time I look forward to because I can spend long uninterrupted hours doing what I love to do, something I'm passionate for... writing.

Only, when I pull out my trusty jump drive and prepare to open the latest novel I've been working on, it halts mid open and gives me the most awful shock of my life. The document can't be opened because there's a problem with the file. I.e., it's corrupted.

Ok -- Anyone who knows me really well knows that writing is my passion. Aside from teaching, it's what brings me joy and happiness. I have hopes and dreams and aspirations of becoming a NY times best selling author. I want my novels to be translated into several different languages and sold around the world. I want to fill up the shelves of bookstores with pieces of my fiction, and that way, even long after I'm dead, I can still give avid readers a place to escape to within the pages of my written work.

But no -- not tonight. Tonight the technology demon has reared it's ugly head and somewhere between April 23rd, the last time I worked on my book, and today, the file got corrupted and no matter what I did to try to recover it; it's gone. 245 pages of the inner workings of my mind, 333 total hours of writing and editing. The thing is, I've been working on this particular book since February 3rd and I'm pretty darn proud of it. I even had the last few chapters mapped out and I was ready to bring the book to a close.

But no -- not tonight. Tonight I got to stare at that little dialog box (I hate that dialog box) as it told me that my book was lost to me forever.

I don't know what to do. When you save things on jump drives, you expect them to be ok. I suppose I'll have to by a new one because this is the second time this has happened to me with this particular USB. The first time was in the summer. I lost a story I was working on, but it was only a short and I'd been on it for a week. In no way is it comparable to losing the running 80,000+ words I lost just now.

I quite frankly don't know what to do. Luckily I had a partial back up; saved from I don't know when. But it's about 10,000+ words short of where I currently was.

I'm at a fork in the road. I can just chuck this up to "It Wasn't Meant to Be" or I can submit myself to trying to recreate part of the novel that I wrote weeks ago.

Shock. Anger. Number. Disbelief. Regret. Those are just a few words to describe how I'm feeling right now.

Shock -- my heart sank when that message popped up on screen

Anger -- are you fucking kidding me? My book is gone!

Numb -- my book is gone...


Disbelief -- I can't believe this is seriously happening again

Regret -- damn it, why didn't I save it in a third location, or email it to myself, or put it in drop box. A whole lot of shoulda, coulda, woulda's....


It's safe to say I won't be writing tonight.
@JustJazzyD

GOD vs. Science: A Conversation

I saw this on facebook and thought I'd share. I found it interesting; so did my dad, a preacher.

TAKE TIME TO READ. It's worth reading it. Trust me :)

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?
Student : Yes.
Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?


(Student was silent.)


Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Is satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor: Where does satan come from ?
Student : From … GOD …
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor: So who created evil ?


(Student did not answer.)


Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them ?


(Student had no answer.)


Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Professor: Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Professor: Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn’t.


(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)


Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.


(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)


Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?


(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)


Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?


(The class was in uproar.)


Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?


(The class broke out into laughter. )


Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?


(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)


Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.


P.S.
I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?


Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.


By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.

Resurrection Sunday

Most people took to social media this morning to wish people "Happy Easter". My first tweet this morning was a different spin on this Holiday.

It's not Easter. It's Resurrection Sunday.

I followed that tweet with this one.

Jesus died and rose again so that we might live. Take a moment to be thankful that He loves us so much to die for our sins.

On this day, several people go to church and get a watered down version of what happened when Jesus died on the cross for all of us. Then after church they go out and have Easter egg hunts and snack on chocolate bunnies and eggs. That stuff doesn't do it for me. The eggs and the bunnies are all pagan symbols of a fertility god. If you ask me, fertility has nothing to do with My Savior dying for my sins.

Call me a miser if you want to, but I don't look at Easter the same. It isn't about looking for eggs and getting Easter baskets full of candy and toys. It's about remembering. Remembering a time when the human race was so corrupt and full of sins that our Father God was ready to blight us from the world. Instead, his son, Jesus, bore all of our sins on his back and died so that we might have a fresh start.

Today, on Easter, I choose to let that by my focus. And for that, Jesus, my Lord, my Savior, I thank you. Thank you for caring enough about me and my future to die for me.

Wordle

I learned about Wordle.com in a workshop in a Reading Conference I went to. I'm attempting to save it, but I don't know why I can't save it as an image. So I'm linking it here for future reference.

--ble... A poem

So.... I went out on a limb and was a bit unimaginable. 

I did the unthinkable. 

Of course, I knew it was inevitable. 

As a result, I experienced the unbelievable. 

The entire situation is completely unmentionable; 

however, it is totally laughable.

The emotions I feel when I reminsce are completely palpable.

Perhaps I should write a book about moments such as this; those that are inconceivable.

At least that way, my laughter, shock, and glee can be somewhat tangible.

Though anything considerable stemming from this is highly improbable,

I am quite grateful for an experience so unforgettable. 

Note to self: post about New Years Eve and the hijinx that ensued

An Active Mind is a Happy Mind

I recently went on a shopping excursion to Books-a-Million and purchased 5, that’s right, 5 new books. Two in one of my favorite series, two in the same genre that are the first in the series, and lastly a random pick off the shelf by an African American author (because my friend Jasmine says I don’t read enough books written by black people). Then when I tweeted about my excitement for some new books to add to my growing library, my brother called me a NERD, to which I replied “Nerd and proud. Got to keep my mind active”. But now, as Christmas break is winding down, I realize I am a BIG NERD and I have been very active when it comes to reading.

I am proud to say that I have just finished reading my third book in two weeks. And by just finished, I mean 30 minutes ago I finished a book and decided to blog about it.

The first one I read was Stieg Larsson’s “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”. I had a deadline to read that book because the movie came out last Wednesday and I had plans to see if Friday. So I used all of last week, and a good bit of last Thursday night eating up the 644 pages of prose. The book was great as well as the movie. It was very long, very Swedish; had epic twists and turns; I loved it. It was one of the first thriller/mysteries I’ve read in a long time that I couldn’t figure out “whodunit” as I was reading. Kudos to Larsson with that. I’m pumped to read the sequel.

The second was the 3^rd in the IAD series by one of my favorite paranormal romance authors Kresley Cole, “Wicked Deeds on a Winters Night”. I devoured that thing. And when I say devoured, I mean I started reading it around 10am on Tuesday morning. I was done reading it at 2:30pm on Tuesday afternoon. I literally did not even eat lunch because I had to know what was coming next. I LOVE the male hero Bowen’s character. He was so troubled, so witty, so smooth, so romantic; totally endearing. His quick-witted comebacks against the girl he was trying to woo, Mariketa, had me laughing time and time again.

And today, rather 30 minutes ago I finished reading Richelle Mead’s “Vampire Academy”. I would describe this as being Twilight meets Harry Potter. It’s a young adult book, not a genre I really get into anymore because I don’t want to read about high school kids. But I was immediately sucked in. The heroine Rose is a badass to say the least with a smart mouth and I totally could relate to her (plus all the sexual/physical tension between her and the older, sexy, Russian Dimitri had me dying to know what was next). I’ve had this book on my radar for about a year and was on the fence about reading it. But after reading the majority of it in 4 hours last night and the rest of it in about 1.5 hrs today, it’s safe to say I’m hooked. Totally ecstatic that there’s 5 more books in the series; I love a good book series.

Also, on a I’m-so-happy-I-don’t-know-what-to-do-with-myself note…. I FINISHED MY BOOK! My book. One that I am writing. I started it late October; I finished it on Christmas. I can’t even believe it. It took me 2 months to actually start and finish a book. I never finish something I’m working on. I feel so accomplished. My plan now is to ignore it for a few weeks then come back to it and look at it afresh to edit it. Then around my birthday (end of March) I am going to start sending it off to literary agents and hopefully by summer I’ll either have the empty silence that is rejection or a letter requesting my full manuscript which then turns into me getting an agent and then getting it published.

I feel like my life is on the right track creatively. I plan to keep this up as well as ready another slew of books. J Next on deck is:

1. “The Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins (gotta read it before the movie comes out)
2. “Dark Desires after Dusk” by Kresley Cole (#5 in the IAD series; I already read # 4 this summer)
3. “The Davis Years” by Nicole Green (written by a black author)
4. “Pleasure Unbound” by Larissa Ione (more paranormal romance)
5. “Kiss of Midnight” by Lara Adrian (more paranormal romance)
6. Then there’s 2 more Kresley Cole books #8 and #9, but I need to go back and buy #7 hahaha 

And somewhere in there I have to read “A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin before Game of Thrones season 2 starts on HBO in April! I’m going to be busy! 

But hey, looking at all these newly purchased books makes me absolutely giddy. So go ahead and say it: I’m a NERD! 

Holiday Cheer

Its Christmas morning and for the first time in my 23 years of existence I am not rushing to open gifts under the tree. In fact, I’m not with my family at all, save for my brother Jordan who lives with me. Yesterday when it dawned on me that it was Christmas Eve, it felt very surreal; kind of like it was just an ordinary day. Since I decided not to go to KY and put myself in a financial strain, I wasn’t filled with the usual exuberance I have during the Christmas season.

However, I found a new way to experience the cheer.

Last night I went to my friend’s house in Charlotte for a game and movie night, and I must admit I have never had more fun. We spent a couple hours playing Charades Attack and drinking wine and just kicking back and laughing. It was exactly what I needed.

Also, on the Eve of Christmas Eve I went to a late night viewing of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo with a coworker of mine and her family. Some of our other coworkers were supposed to attend, but with a 10:10 showing, they probably skipped out because it was too late. At any rate, I went and had a blast.

The past two nights have helped me to get into the Christmas spirit. I realize that even though I’m not with my family and I’ve probably reached that point in my life where every Christmas won’t be spent at mom’s house, I still have family. I’ve surrounded myself with good genuine people that care about me and that I care about.

In reality, Christmas isn’t about being with your immediate family all the time, it’s about being with people you love and cherish.

So, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

New Years is coming up and I’ve got a fun alcohol-filled weekend planned with my girl friends. I’ll post again soon.

Is it December Yet?

I will be so glad when Thursday hits and I can officially change the calendar in my classroom to December. Though fall (my favorite season) is in full swing and the temperature is slowly cooling off, I must say November has not been the best month for me. It’s been full of a lot of ups and downs and financial strains and stressors. And I don’t get stressed. So for me to admit I was stressed, that is saying a lot.

Let’s recap:

My brother’s car had something wrong with it where it wouldn’t start which translated to us having to use my car for the entire month of October. The ENTIRE month of October. I work 30 minutes away. He works 45 minutes away. Do you know how many miles were put on that thing?

I digress.

But, finally he got things situated and got a new car early this month. I was so happy. Susan and I were finally going to reconnect. I wasn’t going to have to stretch my gas budget to accommodate my brother anymore.

I celebrated the return of Susan too early. I walked out the door heading to work on Monday morning when suddenly I realized, I had a flat tire.

A flat tire that couldn’t be plugged mind you. So then I had to use my spare. Which translates to = Now I have to buy a new tire because I don’t have  a spare should something else happen to my car.

Add a new tire to the list of things I need to buy.

Then my laptop screen starts to break, and bend, and the insides start to rattle more than usual and Oscar just operates slower and slower than usual which makes me believe the hard drive is crashing faster than I expected it to.

So add a new computer to the already insane list of things I need to buy.

If that wasn’t icing on the cake, I was summoned to Kentucky for my dad’s 1^st pastoral appreciation. I didn’t really want to go. Not because I didn’t want to be there to support my dad, but because I wanted to go there during Thanksgiving when I had a few more days off from work and wouldn’t have to take any off.

But Mom wouldn’t budge on that, so off, Jordan, Bentley and I went to Kentucky.

A vacation in the middle of the month should have been nice right? WRONG.

A crazy deer decides to hop a median in Nashville and ram into my car. MY car. The one I’M making payments on. Did I mention I was in another state?

I cried. Oh I cried. I sat in the backseat, held my little nephews hand, and I cried.

Damages totaled in the ballpark of $7,000.

That’s equal to 7 months of bills for me. It hurt my heart. But insurance is covering so I can’t complain.

But I do have to cover the money for my own deductible and cost to rent a car. I had to break down and ask my parents for help with that. My bank account dried up when I had to drive to Kentucky.

So currently I am without transportation and very much broke. I’ll be glad when it’s December. I’m ready to start a fresh month. 

My new obsession: Packers football!

Go Pack Go!

It's finally happened. I have pledged my allegiance to a football team and I am proud to say that for the past 5 Sunday afternoons, my butt has been glued to my TV watching Green Bay Packers murder people on the field.

My brother was disappointed when I told him. "Why couldn't you have picked the Patriots or something?" he asked. "Idk," I answered. I just sat down and watched the Packers on TV one day and fell in love, and well, it's been a happy union so far.

And more importantly, the Pack has some scrumptious eye candy, more specifically #52, Clay Matthews, aka "the Claymaker". I'm in deep admiration of this man. His game is so beastly. He himself describes how he plays as "reckless". lol That's freaking awesome.

I stumbled upon this picture of him while checking out his stats and game highlights.

What a gorgeous BIG man!

All I want to know is, where was I when this pic was taken and how come I didn't know about it? Because... Damn! William Clay Matthews III is 6 foot 3 and 250+ pounds of beautiful golden muscle and reckless abandon. I just can't stop staring at this picture. And what I like is that he's only 25 mind you. So he has tons of years left in his career before he's too old and needs to retire. I look forward to hearing the announcers scream his name on my TV every weekend. God did a wonderful thing for women when he allowed his parents to conceive him =D

And just to give you a little taste of how big, somewhat comical, beastly and amazing he is. I'll leave you with two videos I found on youtube.

Blowing up Plays:

hahhahaha, hilarious! Makes me laugh every time!

Game Highlights:

He sacks QBs, he forces fumbles, he recovers them for TDs... Is there anything he can't do!

Clay Matthews, I salute you! Thank you for all that you do.

Family Ties Are the Ones that Bind

Growing up I sometimes felt as if my parents were making me out to be their golden child. An in comparison to my brothers, in some ways I was. I made the best grades, I got the least amount of whippings, I rarely got into trouble at school, I usually did what I was told without being reminded (with the exception of a few things) and I was always the epitome of well mannered in public. For my three brothers, that wasn’t always the case.

With my parents always doting on me, I grew up feeling bad for my three younger brothers. I didn’t want them resenting me or being jealous of how mom and dad always sung my praises. I used to hate when we’d have the infamous “family meetings” where they’d all get lashed out at and get asked “Why are you acting like this? You see your sister is making good grades. Why can’t you do it?” They always made a reference to me and the things I got to do as a result of my good behavior.

Anyway, my oldest brother Jordan is 20 years old. He’s a stubborn, prideful boy who chose the hard road in life. He did just well enough in high school to stay on the football team, he left college after one year, and he’s made bad choice after stupid choice after dumb choice and its left him often up the creek without a paddle.

After our parents moved to KY last year, after a few months he came back down here because he never wanted to leave in the first place. He and a friend moved into our old house where they attempted to keep up with the bills. But with his friend out of work and Jordan trying to cover the bills on his bi-weekly checks, staying on top of the financial game wasn’t easy. Factor in his reckless driving/tickets/wreck/lawyer fee and child support for his 18 month old son, car insurance and his cell phone bill and you can see how he could get behind.

Well, he was supposed to move in with me and this week he gave me a heads up that it was happening this weekend. Wednesday night I received a text from him asking me to please come pick up him. I called him immediately to find out what the deal was with the change of plans and was soon stunned.

My brother cried when he answered the phone. Told me he could stay at our house another day. He was behind on the bills and the power and the water was off. I could hear the misery in his voice. Me being his big sister I immediately hopped in my car and sped to him.

We returned to my apartment where he showered and went promptly to bed as did I. Thursday morning I woke up and was checking Facebook as I watched the morning news and his status popped up on my news feed. He had posted something 7 hours prior to that and what he wrote pulled my heart strings.

Just reached my breaking point in life. Those days I took for granted and every day from now on I'll look at with a different perspective. I now know what it feels like to be without. But I still have no idea the full extent of living life like this. I want to say thank you to Justin Lee Kelly, Bruce Phillips, and the Hatch family for helping me through these days. Without you I wouldn't be here today. I love my big sister Jasmine Davis for coming to get me instead of sleeping. Franklin Stinson, keep your head up and remain faithful at all times like you have been. WE WILL SEE BETTER DAYS. And will be able to help others like we have been helped. I love you all.

I got choked up right then and there. Forget the part where he thanked me for going to get him. To see him thank all those people who have helped him and to see him purpose to do better in his life so that he might return the favor of kindness others have shown him, JESUS, what a miracle. My brother is finally exiting his youth mentality and growing up. It made me feel good to see that he was appreciative of me, but I was more emotional in seeing his maturity.

It’s moments like these that I am so thankful for my family. All I ask is that you say a special prayer for him. Pray that the Lord blesses his life and shows him favor and continues to steer him down the correct path.

9-10-11

This was a trending topic on twitter: Today is 9-10-11.

Because tomorrow is September 11th, the 10 year anniversary since the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, I disregarded this trending topic thinking that it was just some stupid idiotic subject people felt it was funny to comment on while they were really being insensitive to the tragedy that had befallen our nation a decade ago. But despite all of that I clicked on the link anyway, because with twitter, I like to sometimes read the stupid things that people say. As I was reading, I discovered the meaning behind this trending topic was actually kind of neat. I came across this one girl who tweeted this:

@WorthTheBullet Akilah Monroe ♥ 

Today is 9-10-11 .You won’t have a chance to say this again within your lifetime, so you might as well re-tweet it

I also saw someone post this:

@TheTumblrWorld The Tumblr World 

Today is 9-10-11 , and this happens once in 853 years.. Pray for all those who lost their lives. RETWEET

I thought about it and decided to make a blog post about it. It's kind of neat that I get to experience the dates lining up in sequential order. Last year I got to experience 10-10-10, and come november, I'll get to experience 11-11-11. Also, neat//random date facts, this past summer, July 2011 had 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays in it. October will also have 5 full Saturdays and Sundays. This kind of thing only happens every 823 years and I get to experience it twice in one year. How neat is that?

So as far as this random trending topic goes, it actually makes me feel pretty significant. And I can also say, in the words of Peter Griffin, "I learned something today."

Another End, Another Beginning

Somewhere in the late hours of last night or the wee hours of this morning my friend and her bf hit a roadblock in their relationship and decided to call it quits. After nearly 6 years of being together the breakup has to be devastating to her. She’s a very emotional lady, and sometimes I find it to be a little too much. But I’m a very keep-it-to-myself, don’t-share-too-much-of-my-feelings type of person, so I had to learn how she operates before I could fully appreciate it and truly understand her. I know she’ll probably walk around saying she’s ok, she expected it, it was a long time coming, and she’s glad to be single… yadda, yadda, yadda. But deep down I know she’s hurt and she’ll probably spend a lot of time crying her eyes out. But in spite of all that, I want to offer her some words, and offer some words to every woman who has been dumped, done the dumping, and had to split with a great love of life life.

First off, I want to give you a big hug and say, it’s ok. It is not the end of the world. I certainly thought when my 3+ year relationship with my ex ended it was the end of the world. I didn’t know what to do or how I was going to get through each day, but I did. Some days I was miserable, and I spent a few minutes in the bathroom crying before I had to go teach my students. Other days I was angry and upset wondering how could he do this to me or why hadn’t I been the brave one and ended things myself? Because let’s face it, every person, and I mean EVERY person, knows when their relationship is fizzling out. I knew I should’ve dumped him in September of 2009, it didn’t actually happen until he dumped me in April of 2010! For 7 more months I put on a happy face, ignoring the fact that we were drifting apart. Eventually when I came down off of my emotional roller coaster, I begin to enjoy life again and my thoughts didn’t revolve solely around him and our happy and not so happy years. I didn’t die, the world didn’t implode. Time kept ticking and it was up to me to make something of it. So, I will repeat, when you break up it’s not the end of the world, life goes on.

Secondly, I want to encourage you to use this breakup to do the things that make you happy. If you’ve invested years into your relationship, your mindset has probably shifted from being about you and what makes you happy to being about your partner and what makes them happy. Use this time to focus on you. Give yourself fully to your career, rekindle relationships with friends and family, get closer to God; Lose weight, read a book, write a book, pick up a new hobby, learn a new language, do something! But the point is, don’t sit around moping and rehashing what was and what wasn’t and what could’ve should’ve or would’ve been.

Thirdly, realize that being single is not the end all, be all. I’ve been boyfriend-less for over a year now and honestly I can’t say that I don’t really want to be in a relationship that leads to marriage. Not right now; Maybe in 3-5 years. When I was in college that was all I could dream about; dating my ex for long enough until he decided to propose to me. After we broke up, I was like, ok, the next guy I date is going to be the one. Newsflash to me: he wasn’t either! People look at being single like it’s a terrible thing, like I’m going to be lonely or something. In truth, sometimes it is. I miss having a nice warm body next to me in my bed. But on the flipside, I love getting to stretch my legs out and take up my whole mattress. Being single offers me a certain amount of freedom that I don’t have when I’m the other half of a “couple-equation”.

So my dear friend, I know you’re scared about being alone. I know you’re wondering how you’ll start over and meet the next great love of your life. Don’t worry girl, it will happen. Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now will pop up when you least expect it. And if you’ve got your life together, your radiance will dazzle him and he will stop and nothing to be your Prince. (Metaphor alert) Until then, don’t sit in your castle wishing and praying for the day he will ride up on his stallion and whisk you a way to your happily ever after; life your life and go on a great adventure.

Hugs! xoxoxo

Uncovering Me

I took this random quiz that's supposed to tell me about my personality based on the day I was born. Here are my results:

You are a shapeshifter


You lucked out the the skills to succeed in almost any arena.
Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top.
You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate.
Your ability to adapt to almost any situation is part of what's going to make you a success.

Your strength: Your attention to detail

Your weakness: You can be a little too proud of your successes

Your power color: Turquoise

Your power symbol: Arrow pointing up

Your power month: August


I just want to know how people come up with these things. I agree with what it said about my strength and being able to succeed in most areas of my life. that is a proven fact. But my weakness... I wouldn't classify myself as a proud person. 


But this: You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate.Very true indeed. Hmm, oh well. 


quiz linkhttp://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/