"I may or may not be tipsy right now...."
Those were the words I tweeted some time during the hours of 1AM and 2AM on July 6th, 2012. The tweet has since been deleted at my mother's behest. I've just returned home from vacationing in Texas/Louisiana for a week, and that particular Thursday night, my sister, Raynise, took me out for a night out in Dallas. We went to this fabulous place called Beauty Bar, a place deserving of it's own blog post -- and will get it shortly. Anyways, I had a few drinks before the crowd thickened too much, and by the time the place was packed and the DJ was playing a round of great music, I was -- how should I say this -- tipsy.
Now, the normal Jasmine usually keeps a tight lip on her emotions and the inner workings of her mind. But once alcohol gets involved, I'm not ashamed to say this, but I loosen up...a whole lot. Needless to say, I started tweeting what I was feeling and what I was seeing.
Well, I concluded my fabulous night, went home and slept for a few hours before we hit the road to stay in Louisiana for the weekend. Somewhere during the ride, I received two texts from my mother in relation to my tweet. I knew it wasn't a good idea to let her follow me on Twitter because she is a cyber-stalker! Words I'm not ashamed to type because I've physically told her to her face she stalks my Facebook. Next trip to KY, I intend to fix the alert system on her phone so she won't be glued in to my every status update or tweet. But alas, I digress...
Here's what the texts said. Verbatim.
"U really need to remove those tipsy comments. As an educator u r being watched thru all aspects of social media. Plz remember that. Don't u watch CNN or FOXNEWS
- teachers are always let go because they should exemplify good moral judgement always. We love you."
My face when I read the text: -______- extremely long blank stare with a huge eye roll
My thoughts when I read the text: Are you kidding me right now? Not again!
My actions when I read text: throws phone back in purse to deal with situation later
Eventually however, being the ever obedient child that I am, I deleted the tweet I posted per my mom's request. But a big part of me was really fired up when I had to do that and a lot of questions/angry thoughts started forming in my brain.
So, in regards to my mother's response texts, let me vent --
#1 - Why the hell is my mom stalking me over Facebook and Twitter and then sending me texts about what goes on in my personal life? Its enough that she reads my status updates, and tweets, and can view my pics. She's glued in to every aspect of my life now. But I swear, every time I post a status update that is slightly negative, or off the wall, I'm getting a text wanting more information about it. I know she's just trying to look out for me and stay in tune with my life being that we live 8hrs apart now, but damn. My Twitter is sacred. Leave it alone. You wanna be a Facebook Nazi, cool. I try to not be off the wall on there. My circle of friends extends far beyond the 20-somethings I hang around with or know through school. But Twitter is where I can really say what I want. So sit down and let me say what I want. I've been holding my tongue in regards to how I truly feel since I was damn 10 years old, and let me tell ya, that has not boded well. I've got a lot of shit built up. Besides, last time I checked I was an adult. You've got to ease back and let me make my own decisions however good and logical or stupid and illogical they might be.
--> I'm sure her counter argument would be the whole I'm your parent, and I will always be your parent and you will always be my child speech... -___-
#2 - Duh, I knew that. I'm a teacher I'm not stupid. I know how tight-assed the system is. I know how teachers can get fired for the simplest and sometimes stupidest things. It's like educators are placed on a pedestal and we have to be as moral as Christ. We can't wear anything too hip or too flashy. We can't have crazy tattoos or piercings. We can't drink. We can't curse. We can't go out and have a good time. I think the majority of the world views teachers as these holy, all-knowing, all-patient nerds who teach kids for 8 hours and then spend the rest of their time grading papers and planning for the next 8 hours when we get the kids back. WRONG! I have a life. I do things that I consider fun and things that make me happy. I am a professional at work because it's just that, work. But when I go home, ESPECIALLY in the summer, that is MY TIME. I am off duty. Granted, I'm not the type to get all buck-wild and go clubbing every weekend and get shit-faced, but I do like to have a good time. I could understand society and my mother's POV if I was spending my time off as a stripper and soliciting sex on the street corners, but I'm not. I hardly think an "I'm tipsy" tweet is any cause to get concerned. I don't think me being tipsy and alerting it to my twitter followers is going to get me fired. Hell, I don't even drink that much. Only when I'm partying, which is an extreme rarity since I graduated. Plus I know a whole lot of teachers who go home and crack the wine bottles or the beer cans open a few times a week. That is not me. I know I have to be good online (even though I'm supposed to have freedom of speech) and good in public (because I'll never know who I might run into), but -- if you're going to judge me more harshly than any other person simply because I'm a teacher and I have this clean image I have to maintain, judge me when I do something extremely serious and degrading, not because I, as a 24 year old, went out to a bar, had 3 drinks, got slightly intoxicated and then decided to tweet that I was intoxicated. I wasn't endangering any students. I wasn't endangering any person around me. I wasn't even endangering myself. So society, mom, I say this to you: chill.
--> counter argument: It's true, you have your life, but you are a teacher, that is a fact. You always have to be on your best behavior both through your actions and your words, no matter how you feel. Your life's liberties mean nothing. You have an image to maintain... -___-
Deep sigh.... I feel so much better now getting those words out of my head. I'm heading to Kentucky this weekend. On my agenda is a sit down with my mother about personal boundaries. We've had one of these talks before after I graduated. Now it's time to have one again. The 24 year old Jasmine has come a long way since the fresh college graduate Jasmine. It's time for her to release more of the leash she has on me. Let me be an adult. I know she's my mom and she can pull rank over me and try to lead me on a path that will prevent me from self-destructing. But this is my life, and a part of me growing up and being independent is self-destructing. Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing before you can learn the lesson between right and wrong and truly appreciate it. I feel that my parents might have sheltered me too much, which is partially good and partially bad. Overall, I'm a good kid. I mostly say the right things. I mostly do the right things. I don't think one measly tweet was something to get up in arms about. And if my employer sees it, or something like it, and decides that I'm not a good fit for the system anymore, then well, lesson learned. That's what life is about: living and learning. And that's exactly what I'm doing. Let me do it.
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