Love Can Fix Anything

That's what Antonio Banderas said on Oprah the other day about his wife and her drug addiction. But my question for him is, if love can fix anything...why does it have to break and ruin everything in the process? I'm questioning this because I've recently just blew the lid off of another gasket of post Jasmine&Anthony break-up.

I went to Lee and Brandon's wedding Saturday and couldn't help but feeling a bit of sadness knowing that my own dream wedding is far off in the future since I'm single again. And then I also realized that Anthony is a huge jerk and I'm so mad at MYSELF because I put up with his sh#@ for at least a year and tried to ignore all the little naggings in my heart and mind that said "something is fishy here" and "you need to check him because he didn't use to be like this". But no, me being the every faithful and trusting romantic said "stick out out and things will change". Well things did change, and his ass dumped me. So I'm mad at MYSELF, once again, that I'm sitting here stewing over a guy who broke up with me a month ago and wondering why I still think about him and want to hang out with him. Today is his freaking birthday and I know he's out partying with his friends and I'm sad because I think about all the plans we made to have fun the summer and now I'm kicked out of everything.

While at the wedding I texted Anthony, who didn't show up (can't say I wasn't surprised), and told him that just because we broke up didn't mean we stop being friends. Was that wrong of me? Is it too soon for those kinds of messages? I mean, he was after all my best friend for damn near 4 years. Do I have to lose that too just because he's not my boyfriend. Needless to say, I took about 3 steps forward in this "healing my heart" process as my mom calls it, but now I feel like I've taken 8 steps back. No gain at all.

In Other News....

I've been working out on my Wii on a consistent basis. I haven't got back into the jump rope thing yet and I'm trying to motivate myself to get out into the neighborhood and start walking. I've been eating a little better, and I've almost 100% kicked soda out of my diet (I tend to splurge at work since it's the only thing to drink). I know caffeine is bad but I've been on a sweet tea and green tea fix lately. I hope it helps me out. My goal is to lose 10 pounds by August. And even if I don't lose all the weight, I want to tone up my muscles a lot. I went out and spent $100 on some Reebok Easy Tones so I can walk around them and wear them to work. I'm feeling good about my progress. I've found that Yoga is my avenue and I'm loving it. I can feel my muscles working in ways they haven't in a while.

That dreaded "D" word...... diet

So I was watching Oprah the other day and she had special guest Geneen Roth on there talking about her new book which explains why we are overweight. Her main reason being that we subconsciously use food to block out our emotions because we don't want to deal with what we have going on in life. Well, I disagree. That's not my problem. There's no stress in my life, therefore I have nothing to block out. But one things she did say was true. We eat when we're bored or want to be social but can't. I recognize that in my own life. I'm not eating because I'm hungry, I'm eating because I'm bored and lonely. Go figure.

So I had a goal to lose 7 pounds by graduation, which was May 8. I started that goal about a month prior. I went out and bought a Wii Fit Plus and was gung ho about it. My May 8th result. I more or less weigh the same. I stopped working out at the end of april when crisis hit my love life. But that shouldn't be an excuse right? Right.

So, I've followed a friend of mine's blog and her goal for this summer is to lose weight. I feel motivated to truly start mine too. If my mom can find time to walk 3 miles every other day, then by golly I can get up on the Wii Fit and work out for 30 minutes. Besides, I'm tired of my "fat baby" as I call it, getting more and more comfortable, I'm ready to have my abs back. I'm ready to have my toned thighs and butt again. I'm ready to have my freshman year college body back.

So, from this day forward, I will control my portions, I will not eat when I'm hungry or lonely, I will exercise and stop being so lazy, and I will, by the end of the dang summer, have a rockin body that I'm comfortable in. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and saying, "I don't like...." or "I wish my _____ looked better....." It's time to turn those wishes into reality.

Who's with me?

Attack of the Snots!

They say your body changes every 7 years, well I think my time has come and I've developed horrendous allergies. It sucks! One day I was fine and a few days later I'm dealing with a scratchy throat and a runny nose. I subbed today and used all the tissues on the teacher's desk. I felt so bad! That was the only box of tissue in the room. I left her a nice note though. I hate blowing my nose so much, it always gets tender and raw. But I suppose blowing out the snot is better than swallowing it because then I'd develop a cough and a hoarse throat.

In other news.....I'M A COLLEGE GRADUATE. Whoo hoo! I can officially say that I have a degree. BSED in education, cum laude. Feels pretty good to be out of college. Now I'm standing at a fork in the road. Now what? What do I do with my life now?