I spent some good quality time with myself this weekend watching some romantic comedies, Leap Year, Dear John & The Back-Up Plan, and one very touching movie, For Colored Girls, and it has put my mind into a state of contemplation. Every time I go home my mom brings up the subject of just when am I going to start dating. I keep having recurring dreams where I'm in a relationship. A good friend of mine visited with me this weekend and asked if I ever got lonely living by myself. So I got to thinking. It's been oh, about 6 months since the devastating break-up and I'm proud to say that my heart is completely healed (and has been for many months now) so I believe I'm ready to date. In fact there's nothing I want more than to get back out there! Only problem is, I don't exactly know a lot of people here in town, and I don't exactly have a lot of free time during the week to go explore. When and where on Earth am I going to meet guys that will check off on my list of "non-negotiables"?What are those non-negotiables one might ask. Well, it's a list of qualities I pray to God to send me in the next man that I date. They are:
1. Degree or taking steps toward higher education.
2. Lives on his own and has his own set of wheels.
3. Christian
4. Good morals and family values
5. Non smoker
6. Wants a commitement
A list of 6 things, a professional matchmaker might say it's a little outrageous but I don't think it's too bad. I mean here is my breakdown of why I've listed these as my top 6.
1. I have a degree, and I want to be equally matched intellectually with a partner and these days its hard to get a decent job without a degree. I understand college isn't for everyone, but please, do something to try to better yourself instead of sitting around playing X-Box all day or working part-time as a delivery driver. Have some goals, have some aspirations. I do. And I'm making strides to achieve them.
2. I live on my own and have my own car, so I expect that in a partner. How can we possibly get to know one another if we have to schedule "us time" around roomates, siblings or parents. Also, I'm old-fashioned and I prefer to be driven around on a couple of dates, I don't want to be the one whose always picking up the other person.
3. I am a Christian and I am making steps to get closer in my walk with God and get stronger in my Faith. The Bible teaches that you shouldn't be unequally yoked with a partner, so I need to date a Christian, not a non-believer. Otherwise they could hold me back.
4. I have morals, strong ones, and I place a lot of emphasis on family. You can learn a lot about a person by how they interact with their family. I want these to be positive.
5. OMG I ABSOLUTELY HATE SMOKING! Why partake in an activity that is taking minutes off your life each time you take a drag. Not to mention the horrible smell that gets into and onto everything. I can't be with a smoker. It is a deal breaker. No if, ands or buts.
6. Finally, I want a guy who wants to commit, not just casually date. I'm not that type of dater. I like to be in relationships and give my all to that one special someone. I eventually want to get married and have kids. I need to date someone who is on the same page.
So there is my list of non-negotiables. I don't think it's too drastic. Now I just have to figure out how to meet a person who fulfills all my criteria. And that my friends is easier said than done.
